1 00:00:09,218 --> 00:00:11,178 [exhales] 2 00:00:26,109 --> 00:00:29,530 - Four years of film school for this shit. 3 00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:31,740 Yep, $200,000 in debt, 4 00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:33,242 and now you get to film another shitty 5 00:00:33,242 --> 00:00:34,576 pilot presentation for another 6 00:00:34,576 --> 00:00:37,371 fucking house-flipping show. 7 00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:38,830 [sighs] 8 00:00:41,792 --> 00:00:45,504 God, what a fucking loser. 9 00:00:45,504 --> 00:00:47,047 Kill me. 10 00:00:58,976 --> 00:01:00,769 Hello? 11 00:01:05,649 --> 00:01:07,317 Hello? 12 00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:19,121 - You're too late. - [screams] 13 00:01:19,121 --> 00:01:21,748 - I already sold it. 14 00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:22,958 - You scared me. 15 00:01:22,958 --> 00:01:24,626 - There's no reason to be scared. 16 00:01:24,626 --> 00:01:26,545 There's always another home right around the corner, 17 00:01:26,545 --> 00:01:28,964 just waiting to be flipped. 18 00:01:28,964 --> 00:01:32,426 I'm Trip Engold, and you must be Wes. 19 00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:35,470 - Yes. 20 00:01:35,470 --> 00:01:38,056 - Look at you. 21 00:01:38,056 --> 00:01:39,433 Yeah. 22 00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:41,059 You got a really good energy about you. 23 00:01:41,059 --> 00:01:43,604 You seem like a real professional. 24 00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:46,148 - Oh, right, yes. LLL l-- 25 00:01:46,148 --> 00:01:48,150 I brought my transcript per your request, 26 00:01:48,150 --> 00:01:49,818 and then also my degree in cinematography... 27 00:01:49,818 --> 00:01:51,612 - There's no need, I already called 28 00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:53,322 the university and vetted you. 29 00:01:53,322 --> 00:01:55,490 I'm sorry to be such a stickler in the hiring process, 30 00:01:55,490 --> 00:01:59,036 but professionalism is very important to me, Wes. 31 00:02:01,246 --> 00:02:03,832 How do you feel about it? 32 00:02:03,832 --> 00:02:06,418 - Uh, about what? 33 00:02:06,418 --> 00:02:09,671 - Professionalism. 34 00:02:09,671 --> 00:02:11,673 - I-I'm for it... 35 00:02:11,673 --> 00:02:14,009 - I think it's the single most important quality 36 00:02:14,009 --> 00:02:15,427 a human being can possess. 37 00:02:15,427 --> 00:02:17,304 I think the lack of it is the reason our society 38 00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:20,599 has gone off the rails, don't you agree? 39 00:02:20,599 --> 00:02:22,684 - Yeah, totally... 40 00:02:22,684 --> 00:02:24,478 - Of course. Permission to hug? 41 00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:25,604 Okay, coming in anyway! 42 00:02:25,604 --> 00:02:27,356 - Okay... - Okay. 43 00:02:27,356 --> 00:02:28,815 I hope you're ready to get going 44 00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:31,610 because we are going to make magic. 45 00:02:31,610 --> 00:02:33,570 The first scene for the pilot 46 00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:35,697 of the greatest house flipping show ever made, 47 00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:38,283 Flipped and Sold with Trip Engold. 48 00:02:38,283 --> 00:02:40,619 Okay, are you rolling? - I'm rolling. 49 00:02:40,619 --> 00:02:42,329 - Okay, that's a problem because I know you're not rolling. 50 00:02:42,329 --> 00:02:43,872 I know this camera, and when it's rolling, 51 00:02:43,872 --> 00:02:45,123 the red light is beeping, 52 00:02:45,123 --> 00:02:46,625 and it's not beeping right now, Wes. 53 00:02:46,625 --> 00:02:49,044 - No, no-- - You're not rolling, Wes! 54 00:02:49,044 --> 00:02:51,338 Look, look, look... - I'm rolling! 55 00:02:51,338 --> 00:02:52,839 Look, the red light is on. Just take a look... 56 00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:54,049 - You're lying. You're lying to me! 57 00:02:54,049 --> 00:02:56,551 - I swear! Take a look at it, man. 58 00:02:59,554 --> 00:03:01,306 - I don't see it. 59 00:03:02,474 --> 00:03:04,643 I don't... 60 00:03:04,643 --> 00:03:06,019 [laughing] 61 00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:08,021 I got you! I got you! 62 00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:09,731 - Yeah, I know. Y-- You got me. 63 00:03:09,731 --> 00:03:11,400 - Professionalism, Wes. 64 00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:12,984 The single most important quality, 65 00:03:12,984 --> 00:03:15,862 followed closely by a good sense of humor. 66 00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:18,198 - Okay. 67 00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:20,701 - You're all right, Wes. 68 00:03:20,701 --> 00:03:23,412 I think this is going to be a good day. 69 00:03:23,412 --> 00:03:26,081 [eerie theme music] 70 00:03:26,081 --> 00:03:31,461 SandT 71 00:03:55,026 --> 00:03:57,195 - You know, you did a really great job 72 00:03:57,195 --> 00:03:59,823 filming that intro back there, Wes. 73 00:03:59,823 --> 00:04:02,409 - Oh, thanks, man. 74 00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:04,536 - Oh, 100%, total pro. 75 00:04:10,542 --> 00:04:13,670 Are you going to tell me how I did? 76 00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:16,089 - Um, I thought you were great. 77 00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:18,091 - Really? - Yeah... 78 00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:19,551 - That means so much coming from you. 79 00:04:19,551 --> 00:04:21,261 I really want to get this right. 80 00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:23,138 So many of these house flipping shows, 81 00:04:23,138 --> 00:04:25,307 they're just janky, you know? 82 00:04:25,307 --> 00:04:27,893 And not just the filmmaking, the flips themselves. 83 00:04:27,893 --> 00:04:29,478 They're downright unethical, you know? 84 00:04:29,478 --> 00:04:31,438 They ignore the fundamental issues of the homes, 85 00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:33,523 the plumbing, the electrical. 86 00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:35,150 And they think what? Because you slap 87 00:04:35,150 --> 00:04:36,818 some 22 cent subway tile on it, 88 00:04:36,818 --> 00:04:39,446 that it's a good flip? I don't think so. 89 00:04:39,446 --> 00:04:40,864 I don't think so... 90 00:04:40,864 --> 00:04:43,533 - Yeah, uh, yeah, totally. 91 00:04:43,533 --> 00:04:45,994 - You get it, man. You're so great. 92 00:04:45,994 --> 00:04:47,454 So I think now would be 93 00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:49,289 a good time to get some B-roll, you know? 94 00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:51,291 I see this as the second part of the pilot 95 00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:53,251 where some kinda funky music is playing, 96 00:04:53,251 --> 00:04:55,879 and I'm explaining to audiences that we're headed off 97 00:04:55,879 --> 00:04:57,422 to a remote section of the woods, 98 00:04:57,422 --> 00:04:59,800 we're going to see this dilapidated, kinda creepy home, 99 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,676 which, spoiler alert, of course, 100 00:05:01,676 --> 00:05:03,178 is going to be somebody's dream home. 101 00:05:03,178 --> 00:05:05,222 But right now, it's like, 102 00:05:05,222 --> 00:05:07,432 almost looks like a place you get murdered in. 103 00:05:07,432 --> 00:05:09,351 You know? 104 00:05:09,351 --> 00:05:10,268 - Uh... - So, yeah, look around. 105 00:05:10,268 --> 00:05:12,187 Get some stuff. - Okay. 106 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:17,442 - That's just some tools of the trade. 107 00:05:17,442 --> 00:05:19,820 I like to carry a shovel to dig into the foundation, 108 00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:22,531 make sure it's solid. 109 00:05:22,531 --> 00:05:24,783 - Right, um, 110 00:05:24,783 --> 00:05:26,785 and the... 111 00:05:26,785 --> 00:05:28,745 the plastic tarp? 112 00:05:30,455 --> 00:05:33,500 - You ask a lot of questions. 113 00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:36,378 - Well, like you said, 114 00:05:36,378 --> 00:05:38,255 I'm a professional. 115 00:05:40,298 --> 00:05:44,553 - Plastic tarp is for some painting we're gonna do. 116 00:05:44,553 --> 00:05:46,888 Also, occasionally find some dead vermin 117 00:05:46,888 --> 00:05:49,349 underneath the house, and plastic's always good 118 00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:51,268 for carrying out bodies. 119 00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:56,773 - That makes sense. Yeah, totally. 120 00:05:56,773 --> 00:05:59,943 [nervous chuckle] Um, yeah. 121 00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:07,200 Um, could you remind me again where we're going? 122 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,578 - Yeah, it's just about 20 minutes up ahead here. 123 00:06:09,578 --> 00:06:11,246 We're getting there. 124 00:06:11,246 --> 00:06:13,415 - Right. 125 00:06:13,415 --> 00:06:16,376 Um, what, what, what's the address? 126 00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:18,879 - Why do you need the address? 127 00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:21,298 - I'm just, I, curious... 128 00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:24,885 - You're a squirmy little bugger. 129 00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:27,429 Look at you, you're shaking over there. 130 00:06:27,429 --> 00:06:28,847 Yeah, I, I, 1, I think I-- 131 00:06:28,847 --> 00:06:30,390 I think I need to go to the bathroom. 132 00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:32,017 - Oh, well, there's not many rest stops out here. 133 00:06:32,017 --> 00:06:33,393 Not much of anything. But, you know. 134 00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:35,103 You can just wait till we get to the house. 135 00:06:35,103 --> 00:06:37,397 - I'm, I'm just not, I'm not sure if I could hold it. 136 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:38,732 - Well, it's really close. You're fine. 137 00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:40,358 - Il-It's number one. 138 00:06:40,358 --> 00:06:43,445 So ma-- maybe you could pull over real quick. 139 00:06:43,445 --> 00:06:44,905 - No, there's no shoulder on the road. 140 00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:46,573 I wouldn't want anything bad to happen to you. 141 00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:49,200 - I-l know, I just-- I really, really got to go. 142 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:50,702 This came on kind of suddenly. 143 00:06:50,702 --> 00:06:54,456 - Yeah, man, I don't know. I just-- I can't... 144 00:06:54,456 --> 00:06:56,958 I don't know, c-- can you pull over, please? 145 00:06:56,958 --> 00:06:58,293 Because I really got to go-- - No, I can't do it, 146 00:06:58,293 --> 00:06:59,878 because it's dangerous... 147 00:06:59,878 --> 00:07:02,213 - How do you-- no, please stop, I just really gotta go. 148 00:07:02,213 --> 00:07:04,299 How do you open this thing? Fuck-- 149 00:07:04,299 --> 00:07:06,468 - Fine. You gotta go, you gotta go. 150 00:07:06,468 --> 00:07:08,386 [tires screech] 151 00:07:08,386 --> 00:07:09,554 Whoa! 152 00:07:09,554 --> 00:07:12,766 Not very professional, Wes. 153 00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:14,017 [sighs] 154 00:07:14,017 --> 00:07:15,268 Jesus. 155 00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:17,395 [door opens] [alarm beeping] 156 00:07:17,395 --> 00:07:18,772 All right. 157 00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:20,357 [door closes] 158 00:07:22,817 --> 00:07:25,278 Do I need a shovel? Sure. 159 00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:30,867 It's a real bummer, Wes. 160 00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:35,163 Not only 161 00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:37,749 is this unprofessional, 162 00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:39,876 it's downright anticlimactic. 163 00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:45,340 I mean, I spent a lotta time on that house. 164 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:50,428 It's a house of horrors, 165 00:07:50,428 --> 00:07:52,472 the likes of which we haven't seen 166 00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:55,475 since the climax of Home Alone 2... 167 00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:58,019 [twig shaps] 168 00:07:58,019 --> 00:07:59,980 Oh, no. 169 00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:02,399 Please don't tell me you're going to make it this easy. 170 00:08:05,777 --> 00:08:06,820 It's okay. 171 00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:08,863 It's okay... 172 00:08:08,863 --> 00:08:11,700 This is just a little confusing, is all. 173 00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:14,869 I mean, I'm confused, you know? 174 00:08:14,869 --> 00:08:17,038 It's all happening 175 00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:19,624 a lot faster than it normally does. 176 00:08:21,626 --> 00:08:24,629 I mean, part of me wants 177 00:08:24,629 --> 00:08:27,716 to stretch it out, you know? 178 00:08:27,716 --> 00:08:29,217 Let you run around a little bit. 179 00:08:29,217 --> 00:08:31,052 I could chase you some more. 180 00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:34,848 But also another part of me is like, 181 00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:37,392 this feels kinda sad. 182 00:08:37,392 --> 00:08:39,310 - Please, I just... 183 00:08:39,310 --> 00:08:40,687 [thud] 184 00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:48,069 Yeah, it's sad. 185 00:08:48,069 --> 00:08:52,449 [thud] 186 00:08:52,449 --> 00:08:55,076 [Joseph murmuring] 187 00:08:55,076 --> 00:08:57,203 - 1 don't think we can do this all over. 188 00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:59,247 Put it in my calendar tomorrow. 189 00:09:00,665 --> 00:09:03,043 Find somewhere else... 190 00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:05,045 a little more professional. 191 00:09:13,511 --> 00:09:15,055 [engine whirs] Oh, my God. 192 00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:17,849 Didn't even come close to using you. 193 00:09:17,849 --> 00:09:20,268 Sorry, PF. Not your night. 194 00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:25,065 Maybe it's me. 195 00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:27,650 Maybe I'm getting rusty. 196 00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:29,402 They're onto me so quickly. 197 00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:34,324 Too many clues in the backseat, maybe? 198 00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:37,535 Wonder if I put the tarp... 199 00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:39,788 Yeah, just the tarp, in the back. 200 00:09:39,788 --> 00:09:41,623 And then save the shovel, 201 00:09:41,623 --> 00:09:44,042 the big reveal, at the house. 202 00:09:44,042 --> 00:09:46,795 Might be a... [car approaching] 203 00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:54,385 [siren wails] 204 00:09:59,349 --> 00:10:01,267 [screams] 205 00:10:01,267 --> 00:10:03,061 You guys! Thank God! 206 00:10:03,061 --> 00:10:04,854 - Step away from the car! 207 00:10:04,854 --> 00:10:07,190 - Okay! Thank God! Thank God you're here-- 208 00:10:07,190 --> 00:10:09,275 - Do not move! Hands on your head. 209 00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:10,485 - Yes! - You got him, Maher? 210 00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:11,945 - Yeah, but look what happened... 211 00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:13,613 Look! Look! 212 00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:16,157 - Hands on your head. - Yes! 213 00:10:16,157 --> 00:10:17,867 - We got a male, 214 00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:19,744 20s, unconscious. 215 00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:21,830 - He's not unconscious. He's dead! 216 00:10:21,830 --> 00:10:24,958 It's my sweet Wes, and that man killed him! 217 00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:27,335 [hysterical] Oh, God! 218 00:10:27,335 --> 00:10:28,878 He's in the woods, and he's getting away. 219 00:10:28,878 --> 00:10:30,296 - Get down on the ground, right now! 220 00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:32,632 - You don't understand! - On the ground, now! 221 00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:34,801 - Okay, all right. Okay, okay. 222 00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:36,553 You guys are great. 223 00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:38,138 You're great, and you're very in command, 224 00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:39,973 and you're doing a great job, but you're missing 225 00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:42,350 one very important thing. 226 00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:44,519 There is a man, a killer, 227 00:10:44,519 --> 00:10:45,812 who killed my friend, 228 00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:47,480 and he is in the woods! 229 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,399 - Who are you talking about, sir? 230 00:10:49,399 --> 00:10:50,817 - I don't know. 231 00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:52,986 - Okay... - I'm sorry. 232 00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:56,364 I'm just so stupid. I didn't get his name. 233 00:10:56,364 --> 00:11:00,076 - Tell us what happened step by step, sir. 234 00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:02,203 - Okay. 235 00:11:02,203 --> 00:11:03,788 But it's really scary. 236 00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:08,251 There was a man. 237 00:11:08,251 --> 00:11:10,628 He was a bad man, but he didn't seem like it. 238 00:11:10,628 --> 00:11:14,048 He was a little weird and hyper, 239 00:11:14,048 --> 00:11:15,675 but he seemed harmless. 240 00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:18,553 And he hired me and Wes, 241 00:11:18,553 --> 00:11:21,890 my filmmaking partner, to film this pilot 242 00:11:21,890 --> 00:11:25,018 for this really interesting 243 00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:28,229 new house flipping type show, you know? 244 00:11:28,229 --> 00:11:30,356 And he had a cool take. 245 00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:32,275 It was like 246 00:11:32,275 --> 00:11:35,195 integrity and professionalism... 247 00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:36,905 - Sir, please get to the point. 248 00:11:36,905 --> 00:11:38,907 - Yes, I'm sorry. 249 00:11:38,907 --> 00:11:40,533 It's so... 250 00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:42,160 [sobbing] 251 00:11:43,286 --> 00:11:45,246 - Sir, are you okay? 252 00:11:45,246 --> 00:11:47,290 - I feel like I'm in a horror movie. 253 00:11:47,290 --> 00:11:49,250 Is this real? Are you even real? 254 00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:50,585 [all shouting] 255 00:11:50,585 --> 00:11:53,213 - I'm Ss (o} r ry ! I'm Ss o r ry ! 256 00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:55,048 He put us in the car, and he drove us 257 00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:57,008 out into these woods. 258 00:11:57,008 --> 00:11:59,260 And there was like, 259 00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:01,429 all these weird things started happening. 260 00:12:01,429 --> 00:12:03,056 I looked in the back and there was a shovel 261 00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:05,600 and there was a plastic tarp. 262 00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:07,894 And then I looked at Wes, 263 00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:09,437 and I was like, "This is weird, right?" 264 00:12:09,437 --> 00:12:12,607 And then, Wes is really smart. 265 00:12:12,607 --> 00:12:14,776 And he was like, "Sir, I have to go to the bathroom." 266 00:12:14,776 --> 00:12:16,569 And the guy's like, "No, you can't go to the bathroom." 267 00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:17,904 We're almost to the house." 268 00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:19,364 Wes was like, "I really have to pee." 269 00:12:19,364 --> 00:12:20,698 And he's like, "No." 270 00:12:20,698 --> 00:12:22,033 And so Wes just bolted out of the car 271 00:12:22,033 --> 00:12:23,451 and he ran in that direction. 272 00:12:23,451 --> 00:12:24,744 And I ran in that direction. 273 00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:26,537 And the guy, 274 00:12:26,537 --> 00:12:28,289 he just chased Wes instead, 275 00:12:28,289 --> 00:12:30,250 and he killed him, and... 276 00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:31,793 [sobs] And I feel guilty 277 00:12:31,793 --> 00:12:34,045 that I'm alive, and he's not. 278 00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:37,757 - But then I got-- - Sir... 279 00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:39,968 - Wait, wait, I'm not finished. 280 00:12:39,968 --> 00:12:42,971 Hold on, that's when I got really brave. 281 00:12:42,971 --> 00:12:45,890 And I jumped on his back and I whacked him with 282 00:12:45,890 --> 00:12:47,934 a shovel, like two times, really hard. 283 00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:49,769 And he started wobbling. He was like, getting up... 284 00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:51,312 [cops shouting] Okay, okay! 285 00:12:51,312 --> 00:12:53,815 - Stay down! Stay down! - Right. 286 00:12:53,815 --> 00:12:55,900 But he was wobbling away. 287 00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:57,986 And so I said, I just gotta grab Wes 288 00:12:57,986 --> 00:13:00,071 and put him in the car and take him to the police. 289 00:13:00,071 --> 00:13:01,406 And that's when you showed up. 290 00:13:01,406 --> 00:13:02,907 - Why didn't you just call us? 291 00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:05,618 - Because there's no c-- 292 00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:07,620 - Hey, get your hands out of your pocket! 293 00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:11,958 - Stop yelling at me like I'm the bad guy! 294 00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:13,626 I'm the good one here. 295 00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:15,503 The bad guy is out in the woods 296 00:13:15,503 --> 00:13:17,422 and you are wasting your time here with me. 297 00:13:17,422 --> 00:13:18,840 I promise you I'll stay here. 298 00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:21,134 I'll be a little well-behaved nugget. 299 00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:22,593 - Sir, have you used any substances? 300 00:13:22,593 --> 00:13:24,429 - No, I haven't used any substances. 301 00:13:24,429 --> 00:13:25,763 Please, one of you, 302 00:13:25,763 --> 00:13:28,182 I'm begging you, you or you, 303 00:13:28,182 --> 00:13:30,476 go in the woods. 304 00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:32,729 He could be out there. 305 00:13:32,729 --> 00:13:36,065 Please. 306 00:13:36,065 --> 00:13:37,650 - Go check it out. 307 00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:38,860 - Thank you. 308 00:13:38,860 --> 00:13:40,111 - Sir, on the ground. - Thank you. 309 00:13:40,111 --> 00:13:42,030 - On the ground. And just wait here. 310 00:13:42,030 --> 00:13:43,865 - Yes, okay. I will. 311 00:13:43,865 --> 00:13:45,658 He's wearing a black button-up shirt 312 00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:47,327 and silk black pants. 313 00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:48,911 - We'll take care of it, sir. 314 00:13:48,911 --> 00:13:50,371 - Make sure you get the right one. 315 00:13:50,371 --> 00:13:52,665 - Dispatch, this is Officer Maher. 316 00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:54,375 I'm out on Old Hutch Road. 317 00:13:54,375 --> 00:13:55,877 I need backup. 318 00:13:55,877 --> 00:13:57,712 We have an incident out here. 319 00:13:57,712 --> 00:14:01,299 About 50 yards off the turnout. 320 00:14:01,299 --> 00:14:03,634 - Thank you so much. 321 00:14:03,634 --> 00:14:05,345 Listen, officer, I have a question. 322 00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:06,721 It's totally okay if this is a no, 323 00:14:06,721 --> 00:14:08,973 but my knees are really just barking at me. 324 00:14:08,973 --> 00:14:11,726 Is it okay if I just sit like crisscross applesauce? 325 00:14:11,726 --> 00:14:14,354 - Sir, that is... - Thank you. 326 00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:16,356 Oh, thank you so much. - It's fine, sir. 327 00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:18,358 - Good at your job and kind, too. 328 00:14:19,901 --> 00:14:22,362 I hope your friend's doing okay out there. 329 00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:24,864 This guy is really dangerous. 330 00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:28,868 I mean, I think he could be an actual serial killer. 331 00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:32,080 The poise, the charisma. 332 00:14:33,498 --> 00:14:35,124 He's just a real professional. 333 00:14:35,124 --> 00:14:37,293 - [police radio chatter] - Please be quiet. 334 00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:43,174 Mm-hmm, copy. 335 00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:47,595 - Is that backup you're calling in? 336 00:14:47,595 --> 00:14:49,430 Sorry. 337 00:14:49,430 --> 00:14:51,265 None of my business. 338 00:14:52,683 --> 00:15:10,368 Good thing for backup, though, right? 339 00:15:10,368 --> 00:15:13,788 Did you always know you wanted to be a cop? 340 00:15:13,788 --> 00:15:16,290 That's personal. I'm sorry. 341 00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:19,043 I'm just curious about the whole process, you know? 342 00:15:19,043 --> 00:15:21,963 It's such an important job. 343 00:15:21,963 --> 00:15:23,297 You gotta be really good at it. 344 00:15:23,297 --> 00:15:24,841 So do they vet you? 345 00:15:24,841 --> 00:15:27,468 Is it a really long school? 346 00:15:27,468 --> 00:15:29,971 Can anybody become a cop? 347 00:15:29,971 --> 00:15:32,890 You have so many people's lives in your hands. 348 00:15:32,890 --> 00:15:34,267 It's like airline pilots, you know? 349 00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:35,726 You're just like, 350 00:15:35,726 --> 00:15:38,271 okay, he's flying us around. 351 00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:41,441 I hope he's competent. 352 00:15:56,414 --> 00:15:58,916 I know I'm talking a lot. Just two more quick things. 353 00:15:58,916 --> 00:16:00,501 First, I'm so sorry 354 00:16:00,501 --> 00:16:02,170 I was such a crazy person earlier. 355 00:16:02,170 --> 00:16:03,337 I'm together now. 356 00:16:03,337 --> 00:16:05,798 And secondly, thank you. 357 00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:07,800 Thank you for showing up 358 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,719 and being so good at your job. 359 00:16:09,719 --> 00:16:11,429 - There's no one out there. 360 00:16:11,429 --> 00:16:12,680 - Yeah? 361 00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:13,639 - Yeah. 362 00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:15,683 But I did find some blood 363 00:16:15,683 --> 00:16:18,019 and some evidence of a scuffle for sure. 364 00:16:18,019 --> 00:16:21,022 So he's not lying about that. 365 00:16:21,022 --> 00:16:22,690 - Wait, you think... 366 00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:24,317 You thought I was lying? 367 00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:25,818 - We don't know what happened here, sir. 368 00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:27,987 - Sir, all we know is that we found you dragging 369 00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:30,198 a dead body in a sheet of plastic 370 00:16:30,198 --> 00:16:32,658 heading towards your car. 371 00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:34,202 - It's his car, not my car! 372 00:16:34,202 --> 00:16:37,830 - Yeah, okay, but you're the only person out here 373 00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:39,332 and we have a responsibility 374 00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:42,043 to go with only the evidence we have. 375 00:16:42,043 --> 00:16:43,336 - [stirs] - So... 376 00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:45,379 - Wes? Wes! 377 00:16:45,379 --> 00:16:46,547 You're alive! 378 00:16:46,547 --> 00:16:48,716 - Easy, easy. Back away, sir! 379 00:16:48,716 --> 00:16:51,344 Back away. Sit down! 380 00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:54,639 - You okay? You okay? 381 00:16:54,639 --> 00:16:56,682 - You're okay, buddy... - Sir, we need you 382 00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:58,851 to be quiet so that we can ask your friend some questions. 383 00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:00,603 - Slow, slowly, slow. Take it slow. 384 00:17:00,603 --> 00:17:01,771 Take it slow... 385 00:17:01,771 --> 00:17:03,189 - Okay, sir, we're going to help you. 386 00:17:03,189 --> 00:17:04,524 [overlapping chatter] 387 00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:07,151 Easy breaths. Easy breaths. 388 00:17:07,151 --> 00:17:08,903 - Okay... 389 00:17:10,279 --> 00:17:12,490 - Sir, are you okay? 390 00:17:12,490 --> 00:17:15,785 - I don't know. I don't... 391 00:17:15,785 --> 00:17:17,870 - Sir, I'm a police officer. 392 00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:19,372 I'm here to help. 393 00:17:19,372 --> 00:17:20,581 - I-l can't... 394 00:17:20,581 --> 00:17:22,875 I-I'm sorry. I can't really see you. 395 00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:24,085 Who are you? 396 00:17:24,085 --> 00:17:25,628 - I'm a police officer. 397 00:17:25,628 --> 00:17:27,380 I'm here to help. 398 00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:28,714 - You are? - Yeah. 399 00:17:28,714 --> 00:17:31,217 - You are? Oh, my God! 400 00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:34,220 Oh, my God. Thank you. Thank you. 401 00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:37,306 [sobbing] Where is he? Where is that horrible man? 402 00:17:37,306 --> 00:17:39,183 - Which man? Which man? - Who are you talking about? 403 00:17:39,183 --> 00:17:42,270 - The killer. The killer! 404 00:17:42,270 --> 00:17:43,938 He's wearing a black button up shirt 405 00:17:43,938 --> 00:17:46,399 with black pants. 406 00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:48,568 He's so fucking evil. 407 00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:50,611 He's so evil... 408 00:17:50,611 --> 00:17:52,280 [sputtering] 409 00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:54,198 He said he was a real estate agent 410 00:17:54,198 --> 00:17:55,366 and he wanted to make a video 411 00:17:55,366 --> 00:17:56,951 for some stupid fucking house show. 412 00:17:56,951 --> 00:18:00,121 And then he chased me into the woods, 413 00:18:00,121 --> 00:18:02,707 and then he tried to kill me with a shovel. 414 00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:06,377 - Okay, all right, sir. 415 00:18:06,377 --> 00:18:08,129 [retching] 416 00:18:08,129 --> 00:18:11,966 [all groaning] 417 00:18:11,966 --> 00:18:13,259 - Oh, wow. 418 00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:15,052 That's a lot of blood. 419 00:18:15,052 --> 00:18:16,846 [retching continues] 420 00:18:18,889 --> 00:18:20,933 Shit, we need to get him to a hospital. 421 00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:22,935 - Please help me... - Wait, you're not finished 422 00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:24,103 questioning him yet, though. 423 00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:25,980 - No, get him-- get him to the hospital! 424 00:18:25,980 --> 00:18:28,149 Just take him in... - I got him, I got him. 425 00:18:28,149 --> 00:18:29,984 Here we go. Here we go... 426 00:18:29,984 --> 00:18:31,485 - Sir, sir, we need you to back away. 427 00:18:31,485 --> 00:18:33,946 - You're okay, okay, come on. 428 00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:36,741 Come on, man, come on. 429 00:18:36,741 --> 00:18:38,909 - Sir, follow us to the hospital, okay? 430 00:18:38,909 --> 00:18:40,244 - Yes, and then we'll continue the questions. 431 00:18:40,244 --> 00:18:42,246 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah... 432 00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:48,210 [car doors opening] 433 00:18:48,210 --> 00:18:50,254 [engine starts] 434 00:19:07,313 --> 00:19:09,357 Are you serious? 435 00:19:09,357 --> 00:19:10,983 Sir, sir? 436 00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:12,443 What are you doing? 437 00:19:12,443 --> 00:19:13,569 Get back in the car. 438 00:19:13,569 --> 00:19:15,488 Follow us directly to the hospital. 439 00:19:15,488 --> 00:19:17,531 - I have to talk to you about something. 440 00:19:17,531 --> 00:19:20,159 - Get back in your car. 441 00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:22,203 - It's going to be a bit uncomfortable, 442 00:19:22,203 --> 00:19:23,621 but it's very, very important. 443 00:19:23,621 --> 00:19:25,331 - 1 don't know. It's your turn, man. 444 00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:28,042 - W-we don't have time-- - Is he kidding me right now? 445 00:19:28,042 --> 00:19:30,211 We have somebody, we need to get him to the hospital. 446 00:19:30,211 --> 00:19:32,380 - One thing... - Go handle this. 447 00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:33,798 - I'll go check. - Yeah, you! 448 00:19:33,798 --> 00:19:35,132 - Oh, okay. - We got to get there... 449 00:19:35,132 --> 00:19:36,967 - Yeah, I know we got to get there. 450 00:19:36,967 --> 00:19:40,680 God damn it! Sir, what are you doing? 451 00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,556 You have to follow us to the hospital. 452 00:19:42,556 --> 00:19:44,934 Turn around here so we can turn around-- 453 00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:50,064 - No, no, no, no! - [gunshot] 454 00:19:50,064 --> 00:19:52,441 [police radio chatter] 455 00:19:53,984 --> 00:19:56,737 [officer sputtering] 456 00:19:56,737 --> 00:19:58,406 - What I wanted to tell you is that 457 00:19:58,406 --> 00:20:01,075 you're incredibly unprofessional. 458 00:20:03,994 --> 00:20:05,371 Very... 459 00:20:05,371 --> 00:20:08,416 un...pro...fessional. 460 00:20:11,919 --> 00:20:15,256 You guys should not be letting people like me go. 461 00:20:16,882 --> 00:20:18,509 It's so disappointing. 462 00:20:18,509 --> 00:20:20,803 You're supposed to protect us. 463 00:20:26,934 --> 00:20:28,519 I don't know. 464 00:20:28,519 --> 00:20:30,771 Maybe it's me. 465 00:20:30,771 --> 00:20:34,316 Maybe I'm just getting old. 466 00:20:34,316 --> 00:20:39,029 Is excellence not a thing anymore? 467 00:20:39,029 --> 00:20:40,573 It's like all we're shooting for 468 00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:42,742 is just a... 469 00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:44,493 B-minus. 470 00:20:46,704 --> 00:20:48,539 Everybody gets a trophy, you know? 471 00:20:48,539 --> 00:20:52,293 Sure, everybody gets a trophy. 472 00:20:52,293 --> 00:20:54,587 You get a trophy, 473 00:20:54,587 --> 00:20:56,255 you get a trophy, 474 00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:58,299 everybody gets a trophy. 475 00:21:01,385 --> 00:21:03,429 Oh, right. 476 00:21:05,473 --> 00:21:07,308 [door closes] [engine starts] 477 00:21:11,145 --> 00:21:13,397 [police radio chatter] 478 00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:30,164 [eerie theme music] 479 00:21:30,164 --> 00:21:32,833 SandT